I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
