yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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