oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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