We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
