Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
