Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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