Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
