I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
