I'm really into asian looking animals
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize