so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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