dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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