yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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