I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
