I just made out with a guy for $7.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are the jesus of drinking
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
