The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
