this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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