ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
