North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
