why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
