You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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