i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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