i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
