Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize