if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
where are my eyebrows?
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