went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
