he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
