So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
