is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
