I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize