Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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