4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
