is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
