Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
