Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
