if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
only you would photoshop your dick
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
