you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize