Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
