She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
