So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
