in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
