xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
