no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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