we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
