I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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