I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize