so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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