nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
