dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
