meet me or not, i'm out of control
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
