i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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