God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
