If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize