yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
