Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
high people should be assigned attendants
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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