If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize