allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
