Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
