all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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