you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So many bounce houses so little time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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