You're so nebulous sometimes
I puked a lego.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this beer tastes like vomit already
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just found puke in my bra..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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