I hope mine doesn't look like that
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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