If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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