What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
