he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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