well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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