like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
